the best thing about taking exams in college is that once you’re done you can leave right away to go cry
“ Shoving is the white Malibu person’s shooting
— Geoffrey, Malibu Country
anyone would be lucky to date me. i was “a pleasure to have in class”
African Dad: where are you coming from?
African boy: I went to throw out the garbage
African Dad: it is 7pm now, you went out at 6:54pm. That was 6 minutes ago. 6 times 2 is 12. There are 12 inches in a foot. A foot has 5 toes, so both feet have a total of ten. I think I have ten ribs. God took Adam's rib to create Eve. Eve is a girls name, and it rhymes with weave, you like girls with nice weaves. So you went to see a girl. You have a girl friend. Jesus Christ you want to kill me in this house.
“paper or plastic?” asks the cashier. i eat her. i am a crocodile. why am i in a grocery store